Going through a divorce is almost always a difficult time in people’s lives, and can often be even more difficult if you don’t fully prepare yourself for the long road ahead. We’re going to go over some things that you should know before filing for divorce, as well as what to do after the divorce is finalized.
1. Know that it’s okay to not be okay.
You’re going through a rough time, and you’re allowed to feel down about this. If you can’t stop crying for no reason, or if you find yourself getting angry at your friends for no good reason, it may be because of the stress you are experiencing due to divorce. It’s perfectly normal, but let your friends know why things are off. Once they understand where the anger is coming from, they will be more likely to help you deal with what has happened.
2. Get a divorce lawyer.
When you know what to expect, it makes the process easier- which is why you should find yourself a divorce lawyer. Make sure you find a person who can really do their job well, a seasoned property division attorney for divorces in Raleigh, NC says that you should always ask your lawyer about what your next step should be. They will be able to tell you everything that is going to happen, as well as how long things may take. However, it’s important to note that there is no set time frame for a divorce; it all depends on the case.
3. Deal with the legalities.
As soon as you file for divorce, there are certain items that you need to take care of. First off, you’ll want to change your children’s names back to their birth names if they were given different ones after marriage (or address any other legal issues right away).
You will also want to handle any joint accounts or bills that need to be closed/paid. Finally, it’s important not to simply leave everything behind; make sure that all of your evidence is accounted for and transferred over (aka photos, family heirlooms & furniture, etc.).
4. Stay as calm as possible.
Even if you’re super nervous and stressed about everything, don’t let those emotions get to you too much. Getting worked up over things will not help anything, and will only add to the stress you’re already feeling. Your attorney may not be able to help you if they suspect that you’re going to unjustly try to attack your spouse in court, for example. If you feel yourself getting upset or angry easily, take a step back and remember what’s really important: taking care of yourself and your kids.
5. What to do next?
When everything has been finalized, it can be difficult to pick up where you left off before all of this happened- but it’s possible! Losing a loved one isn’t easy under any circumstances, but at least now you have an amazing opportunity to grow closer with the person who was once “your best friend.” It might sound weird at first, but being able to have a relationship with your ex’s family can actually be healthier for all involved. Giving up the anger you felt towards them allows everyone to move on, and eventually, you’ll find yourself respecting that family just as much as you do yours- if not more!
6. Take care of yourself.
After a divorce, stress levels are going to be cranked up high. Make sure to eat healthy, get plenty of sleep and exercise, and don’t do anything to harm yourself in any way. If you need space from your friends & family to help process everything that has happened, take it. You have been through a monumental change in your life- taking care of the ones you love will be even more important now than ever before!
7. Set up a date night with your friends.
The time as a couple is over, but that doesn’t mean the time as individuals has to be! Reconnecting with your friends can help you get back on track and have fun outside the responsibilities of being a parent. Go out for dinner & drinks, catch up on their lives, and enjoy spending some time getting to know each other again outside the role of mother/father.
Remember these tips when going through any divorce, no matter what side of it you’re on. It’s never easy to lose someone, but having support from friends and family will help make things easier. If needed, talk to a professional who is trained in helping people deal with breakups or divorces. Good luck!