However, some people have taken this idea to extreme heights, stating that men’s sex drive is the one and only master pulling strings, governing men’s every move.

Comedians Dave Chappelle and Chris D’elia appear to be some of that theory’s forthright supporters:

“If a man can fuck a woman in a cardboard box, he wouldn’t buy a house.” – Dave Chappelle

“No matter what we do as men, the real reason we’re doing it is to get in your pussy.” – Chris D’elia

Of course, comedians tend to exaggerate to get laughs, but you know what they say – “It’s funny cause it’s true.”

In a paper by Baumeister and Kathleen Vohs, called Sexual Economics, Culture, Men and Modern Sexual Trends, the psychologists state that:

“Giving young men easy access to abundant sexual satisfaction deprives society of one of its ways to motivate them to contribute valuable achievements to the culture”

In her article Love in the Time of Individualism, Julie Beck’s examination of the book Cheap Sex by Mark Regnerus, a sociologist at the University of Texas at Austin, leads her to a similar idea:

“Regnerus also argues that the easy availability of sex makes men less motivated in their professional lives, because they don’t need to become successful, i.e., marriageable, to woo women to their beds.”

Thank God Tinder wasn’t invented earlier or The Theory of General relativity might have remained in Einstein’s head while his lower one was having all the fun.

This belief that sex is men’s life goal, reigning above all others, spans beyond the idea of money as well. A man’s social status today, especially in terms how it translates to his sexual marketability, is a much more flexible and complex matter than it used to be in “Mad Men” era.

As the Reddit user puaSenator (which probably stands for pick up artist – a term used to describe dedicated womanizers, Senator) states:

“Sex is a barometer of personal success. … A poor artist making waves is not necessarily going to be financially successful, but will be successful within their own area, and the pussy will naturally follow.”

My college roommate, perhaps the most driven and focused womanizer I have ever met, has very similar ideas:

“Being an alpha that chases goals outside of women is what women find attractive. Having strong interest and passions in life that, supposedly, have nothing to do with getting laid is what gets you laid.” my ex-roommate says.

PUA-inspired philosophy seems to preach that sex and personal success are two mutually-reinforcing cornerstones in a man’s world:

“Mastering the art of picking-up girls gives you a certain level of confidence that you can apply to any aspect of your life, “ my roommate continues.

And even though the PUA current and the likes flow towards an idyll few men would frown upon, it might not play such a central role in all men’s dream scenario.

A study on casual sex and its appeals, published in Social Psychological and Personality Science, called Wo Benefits From Casual Sex? The Moderating Role of Sociosexuality has discovered that the people who derive more pleasure and general life satisfaction from casual sex are: “extroverted”, “sensation-seeking”, “impulsive”, “avoidantly attached” males who “also invest less in romantic relationships and are more likely to have cheated on a romantic partner.” Other traits that describe those men, according to Vrangalova, the sex researcher that led the study, are: “sexist, manipulative, coercive and narcissistic”, especially among college men.

Even though those qualities don’t exclude other merits, it’s hard to imagine they are the best way to describe Einstein, Mandela, Lincoln and other men that made a difference to society.

So if late at night, you find yourself banging your head against the wall, trying to figure out new ways to bed more women, maybe don’t rub your social superiority in the face of men that find meaning in other aspects of their lives as well. Sex is men’s life goal, but how central – everyone decides for themselves.

Do you kiss and tell after your hook-ups? Maybe there is a better strategy for your sharing about your love life.

The post Sex is men’s life goal, but the only one? appeared first on FactoryTwoFour.

1. Recognize that most companies discourage employees from dating one another. If you’re considering dating a colleague, it’s important to understand that your employer is most likely against your decision to follow your heart rather than their policies. So while you may truly want to date this person, you should be honest with yourself and decide if it’s worth partaking in an activity of which your company disapproves. Is this a career risk you want to take?
2. Think ahead about the possible repercussions of a failed relationship. Speaking of risks, before you decide to date your coworker, it’s imperative to keep in mind how you’d feel if things didn’t work out between the two of you. After all, while you may have high hopes for a long-lasting connection with this person, it’s a known fact that many relationships don’t end up succeeding. So before you go on your first date, you first need to decide if working with an ex is something you’d be able to handle in the future.
3. Try not to date a subordinate. When it comes to dating a coworker, it’s also in your best interest to not date someone who reports to you. Sure, your intentions may be to stay completely judicious and fair, but it’s not uncommon for others to think that you’re favoring this person. And on the flip side, you may find yourself going out of your way to not appear as though you’re giving preferential treatment and end up engaging in reverse favoritism. With this in mind, do yourself a favor by not dating someone in this category.
4. Leave the romance at home. So if you decide to date a coworker, make a commitment to one another that you’re going to stay completely professional while at the office and refrain from any romantic behavior. In fact, by flirting (or engaging in more illicit activities), you’re actually opening yourself up to the risk of sexual harassment claims by creating a hostile working environment for your other colleagues. Remember, keep it professional so that you can keep your job.

The post Office Space: Here’s the Right Way to Start Dating a Coworker appeared first on FactoryTwoFour.

1. You’re not making the first move. If you’re wondering why you’re staying in the friend category, the first step is to review your interactions with this person. In many cases, you may end up getting the friend label simply because you never took the initiative to actually ask her or him out. In fact, if you never truly made your intentions known, then it’s likely that this person sees you as a friend because you didn’t give her or him the clear impression that you’re interested. So rather than staying silent, take the not-so-subtle approach and make a move.
2. You’re afraid of rejection. With this in mind, another reason why you keep ending up in the friend zone is that you’re not taking any risks. However, if you’re too afraid of getting turned down, you won’t be able to turn your relationship with someone into more than just a friendship. It’s time to face the fact that rejection is part of dating, so get used to it, get over it, and get on with it.
3. You’re too available. Another reason why you keep ending up in the friend zone is that you’re trying too hard to win this person over. And while it may seem counterintuitive, bending over backwards for someone and changing your plans for her or him at the drop of a hat will likely put you in the running for BFF rather than BF. Remember, a little intrigue can go a long way.
4. You’re lacking confidence. An additional reason why you keep falling in the friend zone has to do with your self-esteem. In fact, if you’re feeling badly about yourself and refuse to see all that you have to offer, a potential love interest won’t be able to see it, either. The bottom line is that if you want someone to see you as boyfriend material rather than just a friend, you have to be your own best friend and believe that you’re worth it.

The post Reasons You Keep Ending Up in the Friend Zone appeared first on FactoryTwoFour.

After all, she may be trying to play it cool and not totally reveal how she feels about you, and you may be left wondering if your budding relationship has the potential to turn into something more significant and long-lasting. Fortunately, by focusing more intently on both her actions and her words, you can actually determine her true intent.

With this in mind, there are the four clear signs that can help you recognize if she’s falling for you or if things are falling flat.

“She may be trying to play it cool and not totally reveal how she feels about you, and you may be left wondering if your budding relationship has the potential to turn into something more significant and long-lasting. But there are the four clear signs that can help you recognize if she’s falling for you or if things are falling flat.”

1. She recalls details of your conversations. One of the clear signs that she’s falling for you is that she remembers the particulars of your talks and discussions together. For example, if she happens to recall that you dislike cucumbers even though you only mentioned it once in passing, this is a clear example that she’s truly listening to you and values what you have to say. In a word, when she cares about the specifics of your conversations and uses this information as an opportunity to get to know you better, you can know for sure that she’s falling for you.
2. She goes out of her way to make you happy. Another tell-tale indicator that she’s falling for you is that she practices random acts of kindness toward you. However, these actions are in reality not random at all, as they’re clear evidence that you’re on her mind and that she wants to see you smile. For instance, if she picks up your favorite candy on her way over to your place, surprises you with tickets to a concert, and basically goes out of her way to make your life easier, this is an easy way to tell that she’s falling for you.
3. She opens up to you. An additional sign that she’s falling for you is that she’s forthright and honest with you. Specifically, when she feels comfortable enough to tell you about her past, reveals personal thoughts and emotions, and is completely candid and open with you, her words speak volumes about her feelings for you. In fact, when she can truly be herself around you and feels a strong sense of trust, you can trust in the fact that she’s falling for you.
4. She introduces you to the people closest to her. If you’re wondering if she’s falling for you, another tell-tale sign is that she wants you to meet her friends and family. To that end, when she introduces you to her crew and inner-circle, this is because she finds you significant enough to meet the other significant people in her life. In other words, if she wasn’t serious about you and/or didn’t see a future with you, then meeting her friends and family wouldn’t be in your future.

Is sex the only thing men think about? Is it their main goal? You will be surprised by the answer.

The post Even if She’s Playing it Cool, These are Tell-Tale Signs She’s Falling for You appeared first on FactoryTwoFour.

For instance, you may suffer from FOMO and can’t help but wonder who and what you may be missing out on by devoting yourself entirely to your partner. There are also instances when a fear of commitment stems from one’s own doubts about the very nature of relationships in general. And if you’re someone who’s been hurt in the past, you may believe it’s easier to already have one foot out the door when you’re with someone in order to protect yourself and your heart.

However, breaking free from your fear of commitment is the way to experience a truly fulfilling, deep, and long-lasting connection with another person. And when you’re struggling with commitment, the good news is there are steps you can take right now to leave this fear in the past.

1. Have a real desire to get over your fear. If you want to overcome your fear of commitment, it has to be something that you—and you alone—truly want to do. After all, if your incentive to commit is stemming from an increased pressure from your partner, your efforts will likely be superficial at best because it’s not something that you truly want to do. Remember, as with any enduring behavioral change, the motivation and desire has to come from within you.

2. Take a closer look at your connection with your partner. When you’ve made a commitment to yourself to try and overcome your fear of commitment, the next step is to reexamine your connection with your partner. In fact, when you’re deciding to commit to someone in general, it’s important that you know this person well, are on the same page about your potential future together, and are in sync regarding what you’re looking for in a partner and in a relationship itself. And once you’re completely honest with each other (and yourself), making a commitment to this person will be an easier and more successful step for you to take.

3. Face your fear. As is said with many different types of fears, one of the best ways to triumph over it is to tackle it head-on. And that means taking a leap and making a full commitment to your partner. And while it may seem scary or difficult to fully give your heart to someone, devote yourself entirely to this person, and be in a vulnerable state, it’s important to understand that this risk is necessary in order to create a meaningful connection.

And yes, while some relationships dissolve and you may end up getting hurt, risking it all is truly worth the reward. In other words, when you commit to being all-in with your partner, you have everything to gain.

The post How to Overcome Your Fear of Commitment appeared first on FactoryTwoFour.

Be honest with your partner from the start. If you’re seeking to find the right balance between your career and love life, the first step is to be upfront and forthright with your partner regarding the time constraints placed on you by your profession. For example, if you’re someone who’s up at the crack of dawn, frequently stays late at the office, is constantly on-call, and/or works nights and weekends, it’s imperative that you let your partner know this from the start. That way, the two of you can be on the same page regarding the possible conflicts and time constraints that are placed on you simply because of the nature of your vocation.

Employ your time management skills. Another key step towards finding the right balance between your work and your partner is to take a closer look at your time management techniques. Do you tend to procrastinate? Are you underestimating the amount of time you need to finish various tasks and assignments? Are you prioritizing your work projects efficiently? When you really take the time to review and revise your current time management strategies, you may find time-saving opportunities that can enable you to enjoy more time out of the office and out with your partner.

Reevaluate your priorities. If you’re searching for a real balance between your work life and your love life, it’s also imperative to take a closer look at your priorities in general. In fact, if you feel as though your work responsibilities are so overwhelming that you barely have time for yourself, let alone your partner, you should look for opportunities to prioritize, delegate, and say, “No.” After all, if you have no time for a life outside of the office, you’re actually on the path towards occupational burnout — and it’s likely that the spark between you and your partner will burn out as well.

Plan ahead. When your goal is to balance your career and love life, it’s also important to plan ahead with your partner. In fact, many couples will create a joint calendar so that they can schedule pre-set times to be together, and when these particular dates and events are on the horizon, you can make a concerted effort to prioritize these types of occasions and plan accordingly. And while there may be unforeseen circumstances that may cause you to be late or even have to reschedule, placing importance on being with your partner is actually what lets her or him know that she or he’s important to you.

Be present. In order to find a true balance between your job and your partner, being fully present when you’re with each other is one of the greatest gifts that you can give this person as well as yourself. For instance, rather than staring at your phone, thinking about what transpired at the office, and/or fixating on work issues when you’re together, you should be mindful and focus on the present moment. That way, the time that you do spend with one another will be truly meaningful, and you can enjoy a much-needed reprieve from your preoccupation with your occupation.

The post Time Management: How to Balance Your Career and Love Life appeared first on FactoryTwoFour.

“It’s important to let your friends and family be there. Getting a fresh perspective from the people who know you best and care about you most can be an integral part of the healing process, especially since they can often provide words of wisdom, personal anecdotes, and even a good laugh”

Do take time to grieve. The first major breakup do is to take the time you need to deal with what’s transpired. Breakups can be draining on your emotional health, and it’s important that you let yourself experience disappointment, sadness, or whatever else you may be feeling. So rather than brushing it off, putting on a brave face, and pretending that the breakup doesn’t bother you, it’s important to face your emotions head-on instead of stuffing them away — that way, you can work through your feelings and come out stronger as a result.

Do lean on your support system. When it comes to dealing with a breakup, it’s also important to let your friends and family be there for you during this time. Getting a fresh perspective from the people who know you best and care about you most can be an integral part of the healing process, especially since they can often provide words of wisdom, personal anecdotes, and even a good laugh. In a word, when your support system wants to be present for you, it’s in your best interest to let them.

Do enjoy your favorite activities. After a breakup, it’s critical that you continue to partake in the passions and pursuits that are important to you. And while you may feel like staying in and saying farewell to the activities that you once enjoyed, the right move towards moving on is to get up and get moving. For instance, don’t neglect your Saturday morning yoga class, keep showing up for your softball league, and make a cameo at your friend’s birthday party. Life goes on after a breakup, so make sure that you don’t miss out.

Don’t stalk your ex on social media. In the aftermath of a breakup, it’s also key that you refrain from certain behaviors that can be detrimental to your overall wellbeing—namely, keeping tabs on your ex on social media. And while you may be tempted to know what your ex is up to, see who this person’s hanging out with, and where she or he is, the more you focus on your ex, the harder it is to focus on a future without this person. Remember, when it comes to your ex and social media, you should block instead of stalk.

Don’t be hard on yourself. When you’re dealing with a breakup, it’s equally important that you’re not blaming yourself for what went down between you and your ex. And while you may find yourself fixating on what went wrong, what you could’ve done differently, and what led to your relationship’s downfall, reliving every interaction isn’t a beneficial action in any sense. Rather than spending your time being stressed, anxious, and mad at yourself, use this as a time for self-care and self-improvement instead.

Don’t be a pessimist. After a breakup, many people feel as though they’re never going to find another partner. However, this simply isn’t true, and staying positive is the only way to make this happen. After all, your breakup doesn’t mean that you’re destined for a life of singlehood, and it absolutely doesn’t define your identity. And as long as you continue to recognize all that you have to offer, believe that you’re worth it, and remain optimistic, you’re laying the groundwork to find a meaningful and long-lasting relationship with someone new.

The post The Dos and Don’ts of Dealing With a Breakup appeared first on FactoryTwoFour.

Sure, everyone has quirks and idiosyncrasies, but if you’re having more than the occasional issue, it’s imperative to take a closer look at your partner’s actions so you don’t miss the four relationship red flags which should put you on red alert.

Your Partner is Controlling

Has your partner ever told you who you can and can’t hang out with? Has this person ever insisted that you dress in a certain way, behave in a certain way, and basically do what you’re told? If your partner is demanding that you fall into line, you should be making a beeline for the door, as this type of controlling behavior totally crosses the line.

After all, being in a relationship doesn’t mean that you’re supposed to lose your autonomy and sense of self, so if your partner is making a power play and telling you exactly how you should act, there’s absolutely no reason that you should stay and play along.

Your Partner Constantly Badmouths an Ex

While it’s normal and natural to have conversations about your past relationships, your partner’s incessant need to put down an ex should actually raise a red flag.

And while you may think it’s a positive sign that your partner views her or his ex in such a negative light, this type of continuous fixation should really leave you wondering if your partner is still into this person and is merely trying to convince you (as well as herself or himself) that she or he’s moved on. In the end, if your partner is still obsessing over an ex, it’s time to add yourself to her or his list of exes and end your relationship.

Your Partner Acts in a Jealous Way

If you’ve noticed that your partner quickly and easily becomes green with envy, this is a major red flag. And while jealousy is something that can arise in a happy and healthy relationship, it becomes an issue when your partner’s feelings of jealousy are seemingly unrelenting.

For instance, if you constantly have to deflect your partner’s accusations that you’re flirting with someone, if she or he’s troubled by your close relationship with a friend of the opposite sex, or if the very mention of the hotness levels of a certain celebrity sets your partner off, it’s in your best interest to break your relationship off.

Your Partner is Overly Needy

Everyone wants to feel needed and significant in a relationship. After all, if you felt completely disposable and unimportant to your partner, you wouldn’t want to be with this person in the first place. However, if your partner acts in a needy and clingy way, it’s you who needs to realize that this behavior is problematic.

Specifically, if your partner hates it when you go out and have fun without her or him, incessantly needs reassurance about your true feelings towards her or him, and/or texts you non-stop throughout the day just to check in and know where you are, these desperate actions are actually red flags that shouldn’t be overlooked. Your partner’s life shouldn’t revolve around yours, and if this person is relying on you for every single thing, you should opt to be single instead.

The post Relationship Red Flags You Shouldn’t Ignore appeared first on FactoryTwoFour.

There are three things in this life that almost no one will admit to not being great at – driving, telling a joke, and sex. And of the three, the horizontal mambo is the most difficult to get honest feedback about. Either your partner is trying to save your feelings, or they are purposefully trying to hurt them during a fight or breakup. Now you absolutely can and should engage in frank and honest conversation with your lovers to improve your performance, but do you know what else leads to improvement? Practice. Hours and hours of practice. You’re welcome.

Any top athlete can tell you that practice is where medals and championships are won – and it’s no good to just practice for 15min every night as you tuck your sweetie into bed. No, you’ve got to have lots of practice time (something your partner will surely be happy about). Now I’m not here to point fingers, assign blame, or cast negative thoughts. I’m here to help, and there’s no better help than an endurance spray. No toys or gimmicks, just you lasting longer than ever before and never finishing before you’re ready.

K-Y’s Duration Spray for Men is a great example that will allow you to go the distance with your lover and get those hours of practice to go from mild to wild. Duration is a spray you apply to your gentleman’s region that contains a mild numbing agent. Think less “totally numb” and more “not overloaded with sensation”.

Because it’s a subtle spray, it doesn’t get everywhere and numb her giggly bits as well. You also don’t have to worry about spilling it or messing up your sheets. Total win! You’re welcome for your new secret weapon (don’t worry, it’s not so secret that you can’t find it at any Walgreens). You should now have no problem getting in those hours of practice, every time you want, and taking home the gold of your lover’s heart. Gentlemen, ruffle your sheets!

The post K-Y’s Duration Spray For Men Helps You Last Longer appeared first on FactoryTwoFour.