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	<title>breakfast Archives | FactoryTwoFour</title>
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	<description>The Original Lifestyle</description>
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		<title>Don&#8217;t You Deserve Coffee with Flavor?</title>
		<link>https://www.factorytwofour.com/dont-deserve-coffee-flavor/</link>
		
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Richard Melick]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Tue, 12 Mar 2024 20:35:48 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Sponsored]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[breakfast]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Cafe]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Drink]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[hot]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[mug]]></category>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.factorytwofour.com/?p=21933</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[<p>This is a sponsored post written by me on behalf of Alumbre Coffee for IZEA. All opinions are 100% mine. Coffee is one of my few vices I truly never hesitate when it comes to indulgence. I&#8217;m not talking spending big money for the smoked-blended-iced-caramel-thing. No, I&#8217;m talking true, real coffee &#8211; the stuff that gives you a nice wake up when needed without the harsh bitterness of the mass-produced. It was in college that I found my love for [&#8230;]</p>
<p>The post <a href="https://www.factorytwofour.com/dont-deserve-coffee-flavor/">Don&#8217;t You Deserve Coffee with Flavor?</a> appeared first on <a href="https://www.factorytwofour.com">FactoryTwoFour</a>.</p>
]]></description>
										<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><span style="color: #ff0000;">This is a sponsored post written by me on behalf of <a href="http://izea.it/avndBkS" rel="nofollow">Alumbre Coffee</a> for <a href="https://app.izea.com/" rel="nofollow">IZEA</a>. All opinions are 100% mine.</span></p>
<p style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', 'Bitstream Charter', Times, serif; font-size: 16px;">
<p style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', 'Bitstream Charter', Times, serif; font-size: 16px;">Coffee is one of my few vices I truly never hesitate when it comes to indulgence. I&#8217;m not talking spending big money for the smoked-blended-iced-caramel-thing. No, I&#8217;m talking true, real coffee &#8211; the stuff that gives you a nice wake up when needed without the harsh bitterness of the mass-produced. It was in college that I found my love for this deeply roasted nectar when I worked for a small coffee roaster, learning everything from how to roast, temperature variations, blending, and pulling the perfect shot. Those were simpler times, but my love of coffee has not changed.</p>
<p style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', 'Bitstream Charter', Times, serif; font-size: 16px;">In those days, I was the biggest fan of <a href="http://www.factorytwofour.com/lets-talk-real-coffee/">single origin coffee</a>, especially Ethiopian and Costa Rican. Just like wine, you can tell so much about a coffee plant when you taste a single origin. Now, let&#8217;s get something straight &#8211; coffee should not taste like the black tar that our parents would drink or that you find at the local gas station. You should not need sugar or flavors to make it taste palatable. Good coffee, when treated right, will unravel its flavors in a very dynamic manner, and roasters like Alumbre Coffees have caught my interest when it comes to my morning cup (or three) of Joe. Not only does Alumbre have some incredible single origin coffees, but their blended variety is nothing to miss as well.</p>
<p style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', 'Bitstream Charter', Times, serif; font-size: 16px;">I&#8217;ve been tasting a whole slew of the coffees from Alumbre over the past few weeks, so let me point you in the direction of the ones I just love.</p>
<p style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', 'Bitstream Charter', Times, serif; font-size: 16px;"><strong>Ethiopian &#8211; Yirgacheffe &#8211; Roasted Medium</strong></p>
<p style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', 'Bitstream Charter', Times, serif; font-size: 16px;">When I say I love Ethiopian single origin coffee, I mean I will buy it no questions asked when I see it light or medium roasted on a shelf. The Alumbre is no different. This Ethiopian single origin coffee takes me right back to why I fell in love with coffee, delivering some incredibly bright notes of lemon and lightly roasted berries. Taking a sip, the lemon hits the tip of my tongue before transitioning into the smokiness coming off the roasting process. This is a slower roast for sure, and even at a medium temperature and color, still maintains a brightness and almost lightness to the whole sip.</p>
<figure style="width: 1200px" class="wp-caption aligncenter"><img fetchpriority="high" decoding="async" style="width: 500px; height: 288px;" src="http://i.imgur.com/jPE6CMf.jpg" alt="" width="1200" height="692" /><figcaption class="wp-caption-text">Pictured below is Alumbre&#8217;s Sumatra Mutu Batak<img src="https://s.w.org/images/core/emoji/17.0.2/72x72/2122.png" alt="™" class="wp-smiley" style="height: 1em; max-height: 1em;" />, another enjoyable flavor.</figcaption></figure>
<p style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', 'Bitstream Charter', Times, serif; font-size: 16px;"><strong>French Roast, Dark</strong></p>
<p style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', 'Bitstream Charter', Times, serif; font-size: 16px;">I cold brewed this batch of coffee and do not regret it one bit. Deep, dark tobacco notes on top of the heavy smoke from the long roasting time made this an incredible coffee to have in the morning. I loved looking into the coffee grinds while in the water and seeing the oils from the roasted beans floating on top, waiting to be mixed in with a quick stir for my next cup. The notes on the French Roast are very sudden, hitting hard with the dark caramel and smoke, transitioning smoothly to a heavy tobacco sweetness before mellowing out. The little oils collected in the cold brew process left a great sweet aftertaste that made me come back for more.</p>
<p style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', 'Bitstream Charter', Times, serif; font-size: 16px;"><img decoding="async" class="aligncenter" style="width: 500px; height: 375px;" src="http://i.imgur.com/ov36yMN.jpg" alt="" /></p>
<p style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', 'Bitstream Charter', Times, serif; font-size: 16px;"><strong>Colombia, Alma Del Cafe De Jardin®, Medium Roast</strong></p>
<p style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', 'Bitstream Charter', Times, serif; font-size: 16px;">Honestly, I have never been a big Colombia coffee fan &#8211; it&#8217;s delicious, but never blew my socks off. But, that said, Alumbre delivers one of the best Colombian coffees I have ever had. There was a hint of roasted cedar in the bag, and as it sat brewing in my French press I watched as the mid-dark color enveloped the water while this semi-sweet aroma floated off. But the taste is where I was amazed; it starts with a semi-sweet chocolate and smoked cedarwood, but then the cedar drops away leaving the chocolate to linger. Yes, yes, in every way, yes. I was sold on my first cup of Colombia coffee, but clearly not my last.</p>
<p style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', 'Bitstream Charter', Times, serif; font-size: 16px;">I might have a bit of a fascination with coffee, and will admit I am a bit obsessed with different varieties and roasts, and Alumbre Coffee has kept my interest for sure. It could be their countless investments into the community, the focus on the environment and maintaining the craft roastery feel, or the fact that because Alumbre is an exclusive brand, they take their time to really make the coffees perfect. It probably all of those combined and more to be honest, and that&#8217;s something I can stand behind.  And all it takes is a simple <a style="font-family: sans-serif, Arial, Verdana, 'Trebuchet MS'; font-size: 13px;" href="http://izea.it/adCS68v" rel="nofollow">Sign up</a> to get started, to start enjoying coffee as it should be enjoyed.</p>
<p style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', 'Bitstream Charter', Times, serif; font-size: 16px;">So think about that next time you&#8217;re picking up a bag of coffee or sipping a gas station brew; don&#8217;t you deserve coffee with flavor? <a style="font-family: sans-serif, Arial, Verdana, 'Trebuchet MS'; font-size: 13px;" href="http://izea.it/aRGdGty" rel="nofollow">Discover Alumbre</a> as I did. Let your taste buds be free.</p>
<p style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', 'Bitstream Charter', Times, serif; font-size: 16px;"><a href="http://izea.it/aHMYyNJ" rel="nofollow">Try Alumbre today</a>.</p>
<p><a href="http://izea.it/avndBkS" rel="nofollow"><img decoding="async" style="border: none; width: auto !important;" src="http://izea.it/vzJ5TZk" alt="Visit Sponsors Site" border="0" /></a></p>
<p>The post <a href="https://www.factorytwofour.com/dont-deserve-coffee-flavor/">Don&#8217;t You Deserve Coffee with Flavor?</a> appeared first on <a href="https://www.factorytwofour.com">FactoryTwoFour</a>.</p>
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		<item>
		<title>Let&#8217;s Talk Real Coffee</title>
		<link>https://www.factorytwofour.com/lets-talk-real-coffee/</link>
					<comments>https://www.factorytwofour.com/lets-talk-real-coffee/#comments</comments>
		
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Richard Melick]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Wed, 06 Mar 2024 22:34:22 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Sponsored]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[breakfast]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Drink]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[hot]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[morning]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[starbucks]]></category>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.factorytwofour.com/?p=21590</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[<p>This is a sponsored post written by me on behalf of Alumbre Coffee for IZEA. All opinions are 100% mine. We can’t live without it. That black, natural gold that powers us every day and night. Delivering all the energy we need to get that boost for the next hill, the dark color, and deep aroma is just what we need. It’s everywhere too, from the local shop to the national chains on every corner. Let’s talk coffee. Discover Alumbre In [&#8230;]</p>
<p>The post <a href="https://www.factorytwofour.com/lets-talk-real-coffee/">Let&#8217;s Talk Real Coffee</a> appeared first on <a href="https://www.factorytwofour.com">FactoryTwoFour</a>.</p>
]]></description>
										<content:encoded><![CDATA[<pre><span style="color: #ff0000;">This is a sponsored post written by me on behalf of <a style="color: #ff0000;" href="http://izea.it/apFdCFB" rel="nofollow">Alumbre Coffee</a> for <a style="color: #ff0000;" href="https://app.izea.com/" rel="nofollow">IZEA</a>. All opinions are 100% mine.</span></pre>
<p>We can’t live without it. That black, natural gold that powers us every day and night. Delivering all the energy we need to get that boost for the next hill, the dark color, and deep aroma is just what we need. It’s everywhere too, from the local shop to the national chains on every corner.</p>
<p><a href="http://izea.it/aCQZwJs">Let’s talk coffee</a>. <a href="http://izea.it/aCQZwJs" rel="nofollow">Discover Alumbre</a></p>
<p>In a past life, before the cars, tech, and travel, I was a coffee roaster for a small, local shop that has since closed its doors. While working for the master roaster, I learned more about coffee than I ever thought possible, from roasting temperatures, blending, cupping, fermentation, bean aging, and the now-obvious regional differences. I developed a taste for well-made coffee, but was often forced to accept sub-par, mass produced blends that lacked personality. Yes, they had the elements of coffee, but none of those nuances that made each bean unique. And if you are going to treat your coffee like a mass-produced product, then you might as well be using sub-par practices as nothing saves those beans from that sad fate.</p>
<p>I accepted that dark, tasteless fate. I missed the old ways. And so have you as you sit in your chain store, drinking your something-or-another-blended-whatchamathing. When is the last time you tasted…truly tasted coffee?</p>
<p>That’s where craft, exclusive roasters like <a href="http://izea.it/aCQZwJs">Alumbre Coffee</a> are stepping up, meeting that want and desire to have something more to our morning than a boring cup of joe. Named after the Alumbre River, which flows from the Tarrazu region through one of the world&#8217;s most exclusive coffee-producing regions. The brand first planted its coffee in 1968 near the beautiful Alumbre, and it has become a symbol for the company and its superior quality. The roaster providing ultra-premium coffee, they are focusing on sustainability in their farms while investing heavily into the communities, environment, and people who work for them.</p>
<p style="text-align: center;"><img decoding="async" style="width: 300px; height: 240px;" src="http://i.imgur.com/o6ReQVw.jpg" alt="" /><img decoding="async" style="width: 300px; height: 240px;" src="http://i.imgur.com/pWo6un5.jpg" alt="" /><img decoding="async" style="width: 300px; height: 240px;" src="http://i.imgur.com/8JutdWB.jpg" alt="" /></p>
<p>This is a big step from the standard, available-everywhere chains, with Alumbre&#8217; commitment all around. Not only is all weed cleaning done by hand, but they have also invested over $100,000 into local schools in Colombia.</p>
<p>We could go on, talking about the incredible benefits the employees all receive, the no-cost dental and medical care clinics for the employees of Costa Rica, but the point is clear – with counter-boring coffee are companies like Alumbre that are rising above the norms to provide more than coffee but a true living and investment into the future of their market.</p>
<p>Trust me when I say the investment is worth it when it comes to flavor and taste. My favorites have always been single origins, and Alumbre&#8217;s Ethiopian and Costa Rica roasts have hit that spot I&#8217;ve been missing with bright flavors that open up on the tongue while hitting the smooth, roasted tones I love in coffee. Each bean is hand roasted to just the right degree of perfection. Truly an artisan coffee. Think about that the next time you go in and spend an arm and a leg for a basic, mass-produced bag of coffee from the next big chain, or as you sip your overpriced coffee milkshake. What has that company done for not only their people but their natural source of product?</p>
<p><img decoding="async" class="aligncenter" style="width: 500px; height: 375px;" src="http://i.imgur.com/ln6W0aK.jpg" alt="" /></p>
<p>Vote with your conscience. <a href="http://izea.it/a4KCq6d" rel="nofollow">Sign up</a>. Vote with your wallet. Enjoy the taste.</p>
<p><a href="http://izea.it/aVtZLPH" rel="nofollow">Try Alumbre today</a></p>
<p><a href="http://izea.it/apFdCFB" rel="nofollow"><img decoding="async" style="border: none; width: auto !important;" src="http://izea.it/v9rGyBf" alt="Visit Sponsors Site" border="0" /></a></p>
<p>The post <a href="https://www.factorytwofour.com/lets-talk-real-coffee/">Let&#8217;s Talk Real Coffee</a> appeared first on <a href="https://www.factorytwofour.com">FactoryTwoFour</a>.</p>
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		<title>Crankenbrew Coffee Pale Ale: The King of Winter Breakfast Beer</title>
		<link>https://www.factorytwofour.com/crankenbrew-coffee-pale-ale-king-winter-breakfast-beer/</link>
		
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Nick True]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Sat, 12 Aug 2023 01:34:06 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Food & Drink]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[breakfast]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Coffee]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Crankenbrew]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Pale Ale]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Snowbank Brewing]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[winter]]></category>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.factorytwofour.com/?p=19392</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[<p>Winter is finally fully upon us and every brewery is rushing to get their winter seasonals on the shelves yet in a sea of innovation Snowbank Brewing has created something truly special that stands apart from the rest. Instead of the tried and true winter big beer, trappist, or imperial stout Snowbank Brewing in Fort Collins has created Crankenbrew; a Coffee Pale Ale that that balances two facets of brewing that I never thought would go together, but in this [&#8230;]</p>
<p>The post <a href="https://www.factorytwofour.com/crankenbrew-coffee-pale-ale-king-winter-breakfast-beer/">Crankenbrew Coffee Pale Ale: The King of Winter Breakfast Beer</a> appeared first on <a href="https://www.factorytwofour.com">FactoryTwoFour</a>.</p>
]]></description>
										<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Winter is finally fully upon us and every brewery is rushing to get their winter seasonals on the shelves yet in a sea of innovation Snowbank Brewing has created something truly special that stands apart from the rest. Instead of the tried and true winter big beer, trappist, or imperial stout Snowbank Brewing in Fort Collins has created Crankenbrew; a Coffee Pale Ale that that balances two facets of brewing that I never thought would go together, but in this case they are fantastic. What most excites me about this beer however is its versatility; I am not a big mimosa or bloody mary fan so during brunch outings with friends I am always on the lookout for great ‘breakfast beers’ that are light, satisfying and multidimensional; Crankenbrew fits all of these aspects perfectly and I cannot imagine another beer that would go better with an overpriced and locally sourced eggs benedict.</span></p>
<p><img decoding="async" class="alignnone size-medium wp-image-19390" src="http://www.factorytwofour.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/12/Crankenbrew_F24_NickTrue2-650x488.jpg" alt="" width="650" height="488" srcset="https://www.factorytwofour.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/12/Crankenbrew_F24_NickTrue2-650x488.jpg 650w, https://www.factorytwofour.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/12/Crankenbrew_F24_NickTrue2-300x225.jpg 300w, https://www.factorytwofour.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/12/Crankenbrew_F24_NickTrue2-1200x900.jpg 1200w, https://www.factorytwofour.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/12/Crankenbrew_F24_NickTrue2-740x555.jpg 740w, https://www.factorytwofour.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/12/Crankenbrew_F24_NickTrue2-480x360.jpg 480w, https://www.factorytwofour.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/12/Crankenbrew_F24_NickTrue2.jpg 1440w" sizes="(max-width: 650px) 100vw, 650px" /></p>
<p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Out of the bomber Crankenbrew pours the classic pale ale gold brilliantly with a dense pure what head of 1/8th inch foam. The nose opens with distinct coffee notes and noticeable hop profile that augment the sweetness of the malt perfectly adding a new dimension to first impression of this beer. At its base Crankenbrew is superb pale ale that is refreshing with a moderate hop profile and malt sweetness that I have come to expect from any top tier pale ale. The added fresh coffee infusion adds a dimension unmatched by any other beer I have had that makes it beg to be drank during a brunch outing on a frigid winter morning. Crankenbrew is perfectly balanced yet diverse and intriguing, it finishes clean with lingering coffee notes begging to be enjoyed again.</span></p>
<p><img decoding="async" class="alignnone size-medium wp-image-19389" src="http://www.factorytwofour.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/12/Crankenbrew_F24_NickTrue1-650x488.jpg" alt="" width="650" height="488" srcset="https://www.factorytwofour.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/12/Crankenbrew_F24_NickTrue1-650x488.jpg 650w, https://www.factorytwofour.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/12/Crankenbrew_F24_NickTrue1-300x225.jpg 300w, https://www.factorytwofour.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/12/Crankenbrew_F24_NickTrue1-1200x900.jpg 1200w, https://www.factorytwofour.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/12/Crankenbrew_F24_NickTrue1-740x555.jpg 740w, https://www.factorytwofour.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/12/Crankenbrew_F24_NickTrue1-480x360.jpg 480w, https://www.factorytwofour.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/12/Crankenbrew_F24_NickTrue1.jpg 1440w" sizes="(max-width: 650px) 100vw, 650px" />I had a few other winter seasonal bombers from different breweries this season and while they are all very innovative and creative in their own right it was Crankenbrew that stole my heart due to its perfect balance that does not compromise any of its component parts. Be sure to crack one open on a morning you have off and enjoy what I think may be the best breakfast beer you can have.</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p>The post <a href="https://www.factorytwofour.com/crankenbrew-coffee-pale-ale-king-winter-breakfast-beer/">Crankenbrew Coffee Pale Ale: The King of Winter Breakfast Beer</a> appeared first on <a href="https://www.factorytwofour.com">FactoryTwoFour</a>.</p>
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		<title>Review: Taco Bell&#8217;s New Breakfast Menu</title>
		<link>https://www.factorytwofour.com/review-taco-bells-new-breakfast-menu/</link>
		
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Michael Pitts]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Sat, 27 Nov 2021 08:33:17 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Food & Drink]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[breakfast]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Crunchwrap]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Review]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[taco]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Taco Bell]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[waffle]]></category>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.factorytwofour.com/?p=1066</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[<p>(Editors note: Michael Pitts was invited to share his experience with FactoryTwoFour after posting a lightened version initially on reddit.com.) As you may or may not be aware, Taco Bell started selling breakfast yesterday. I’ve been eagerly anticipating this for a long time. Ever since I saw the articles about the breakfast menu rolling out in test markets, I wondered what magical delights Taco Bell would bring to me early in the morning. I finally got my chance to find out [&#8230;]</p>
<p>The post <a href="https://www.factorytwofour.com/review-taco-bells-new-breakfast-menu/">Review: Taco Bell&#8217;s New Breakfast Menu</a> appeared first on <a href="https://www.factorytwofour.com">FactoryTwoFour</a>.</p>
]]></description>
										<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p style="text-align: justify;"><em>(Editors note: Michael Pitts was invited to share his experience with FactoryTwoFour after posting a lightened version initially on reddit.com.)</em></p>
<p style="text-align: justify;">As you may or may not be aware, Taco Bell started selling <em>breakfast</em> yesterday. I’ve been eagerly anticipating this for a long time. Ever since I saw the articles about the breakfast menu rolling out in test markets, I wondered what magical delights Taco Bell would bring to me early in the morning. I finally got my chance to find out and I may or may not have gone far beyond the confines of good judgment when I ordered my 1.5 pounds of self-abuse. I bought one of everything because I&#8217;m an idiot and some part of me thought that I wouldn&#8217;t immediately regret my decision. Maybe you can learn from my mistakes</p>
<h2>The Waffle Taco</h2>
<figure id="attachment_1078" aria-describedby="caption-attachment-1078" style="width: 600px" class="wp-caption alignnone"><a href="http://www.factorytwofour.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/IMAG0027.jpg"><img decoding="async" class="size-medium wp-image-1078 " alt="" src="http://www.factorytwofour.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/IMAG0027-600x339.jpg" width="600" height="339" srcset="https://www.factorytwofour.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/IMAG0027-600x339.jpg 600w, https://www.factorytwofour.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/IMAG0027-1200x679.jpg 1200w, https://www.factorytwofour.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/IMAG0027.jpg 2048w" sizes="(max-width: 600px) 100vw, 600px" /></a><figcaption id="caption-attachment-1078" class="wp-caption-text">The sheen on the waffle lets you know its good.</figcaption></figure>
<p style="text-align: justify;"><span style="line-height: 1.5em;">Can we pretend for a minute that this doesn&#8217;t look like one of the worst ideas I&#8217;ve ever had? It&#8217;s a waffle with sausage and eggs. How can that be anything but delicious? Well for starters, the &#8220;taco&#8221; was greasy. Really greasy. Like &#8220;what the hell is this thing&#8221; greasy. It also tastes nothing like a waffle. The flavor was kind of bland and the texture was chewy with a crunchy outside. Not terribly unlike a crispy sponge. Syrup makes it better, but do you really want to do that to yourself? I mean look at the thing. Does dumping high fructose corn syrup and maple flavoring on top of that sound like the right thing to do? Doesn&#8217;t matter, because I did it. I’m not proud of my actions, but I won’t hide from the shame when I deserve it.</span></p>
<h2>The Breakfast Taco</h2>
<figure id="attachment_1079" aria-describedby="caption-attachment-1079" style="width: 600px" class="wp-caption alignnone"><a href="http://www.factorytwofour.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/IMAG0028.jpg"><img decoding="async" class="size-medium wp-image-1079" alt="" src="http://www.factorytwofour.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/IMAG0028-600x339.jpg" width="600" height="339" srcset="https://www.factorytwofour.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/IMAG0028-600x339.jpg 600w, https://www.factorytwofour.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/IMAG0028-1200x679.jpg 1200w, https://www.factorytwofour.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/IMAG0028.jpg 2048w" sizes="(max-width: 600px) 100vw, 600px" /></a><figcaption id="caption-attachment-1079" class="wp-caption-text">I&#8217;m not entirely sure that&#8217;s real meat.</figcaption></figure>
<p style="text-align: justify;">The &#8220;breakfast taco&#8221; is a lot of scrambled eggs with some cheese and those little rabbit turd sausages on a tortilla. They slap it on the grill press to crisp the outside and melt the cheese, which also sort of makes it look more like a taco and not just some scrambled eggs on a tortilla.</p>
<p style="text-align: justify;">This was so&#8230; what&#8217;s a word that means bad, but is more likely to get you to stay the hell away from this thing? It&#8217;s scrambled eggs in a Taco Bell tortilla. Nothing helped this. Not the brown sugary goop they call syrup, the picante sauce, the ketchup, or even my tears were enough to make this worth the price of admission.</p>
<p style="text-align: justify;">I have been told by citizens of New Mexico and Texas that my opinion of a breakfast taco has been tarnished by Taco Bell’s meager attempt. Apparently a properly made breakfast taco is a thing of beauty, but Taco Bell managed to screw the pooch on this one. That’s pretty much what I expected. Please calm down, breakfast taco fans. I don’t hate all breakfast tacos, just this particular one.</p>
<h2 style="text-align: justify;">The Breakfast Burrito</h2>
<figure id="attachment_1081" aria-describedby="caption-attachment-1081" style="width: 600px" class="wp-caption alignnone"><a href="http://www.factorytwofour.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/IMAG0030.jpg"><img decoding="async" class="size-medium wp-image-1081 " alt="" src="http://www.factorytwofour.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/IMAG0030-600x339.jpg" width="600" height="339" srcset="https://www.factorytwofour.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/IMAG0030-600x339.jpg 600w, https://www.factorytwofour.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/IMAG0030-1200x679.jpg 1200w, https://www.factorytwofour.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/IMAG0030.jpg 2048w" sizes="(max-width: 600px) 100vw, 600px" /></a><figcaption id="caption-attachment-1081" class="wp-caption-text">Like a cocoon filled with regret.</figcaption></figure>
<p style="text-align: justify;">This is pretty much your standard breakfast burrito, but with less effort. Usually in a breakfast burrito you&#8217;ll have some onions or some peppers, maybe a little salsa. Not this time! In here we find eggs, meat, and cheese, sprinkled with sadness. This thing might have been better had it not been half eggs and half steak, so that I got nothing but eggs for the first half and nothing but steak for the second. You can kind of see it in the picture. See how the burrito is all brown on the left and yellow on the right? That has nothing to do with my pro phone photography skills. Chalk that up to a healthy dose of Taco Apathy by the artisan who lovingly crafted my bagful of shame this morning. I was regretting my decision about 2 bites into this thing, and I still had to eat the Crunchwrap.</p>
<h2>The A.M. Crunchwrap</h2>
<figure id="attachment_1080" aria-describedby="caption-attachment-1080" style="width: 600px" class="wp-caption alignnone"><a href="http://www.factorytwofour.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/IMAG0029.jpg"><img decoding="async" class="size-medium wp-image-1080 " alt="" src="http://www.factorytwofour.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/IMAG0029-600x339.jpg" width="600" height="339" srcset="https://www.factorytwofour.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/IMAG0029-600x339.jpg 600w, https://www.factorytwofour.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/IMAG0029-1200x679.jpg 1200w, https://www.factorytwofour.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/IMAG0029.jpg 2048w" sizes="(max-width: 600px) 100vw, 600px" /></a><figcaption id="caption-attachment-1080" class="wp-caption-text">The good one that&#8217;s still guilty by association.</figcaption></figure>
<p style="text-align: justify;">This one is hash browns, more scrambled eggs (I&#8217;d probably consumed at least half a dozen eggs at this point), bacon, and what appears to be a chipotle queso. I popped it into the toaster oven so that the taste wouldn&#8217;t suffer from being cold. The bacon tastes more like Bac-Os than real bacon. Same weird half-squish-half-crunch texture when you bite them, and the same plastic aftertaste. Ketchup helps, but that&#8217;s not saying much. When your starting point is &#8220;Why would you do this to yourself&#8221; you could probably drag it across your b-hole and make an improvement, depending on what you had for dinner the night before. As I wrote this, I had 4 bites of the Crunchwrap remaining. I was tempted to throw it away, but I ain&#8217;t no punk. I finished the last of the unholy quartet of gastrointestinal abuse like a man who has yet to realize that decisions have consequences.</p>
<p style="text-align: justify;">It has been roughly 8 hours since I embarked on this ill-fated endeavor, and I can tell you that I have learned my lesson. After a few hours of cramping, quite a bit of shaking, sweaty palms, and the inability to trust my own farts, I will never try to be a 4-time champ at Taco Bell again. I’m not built for it. I skipped lunch for obvious reasons (not the least of which being 1700 calories for breakfast) and I’m still not hungry. There’s a pain in my guts that can only be described as karmic retribution, as I imagine my intestines are paying me back for putting them through the misery of processing a deep fried waffle before the sun had gotten all the way above the trees.</p>
<p style="text-align: justify;">Was this a bad idea? Most assuredly. Do I regret it? For the next few hours, definitely. But there’s no point in growing old if you don’t have fun stories to tell people once you’re there, so why bother being so cautious? The pain in my gut will fade and I’ll still have the memory of that time I was dumb enough to think that scrambled eggs from a fast food joint wouldn’t ruin my poop chute for the rest of the day. As long as it makes for a great story that gets people to laugh, it was worth every bite.</p>
<p>The post <a href="https://www.factorytwofour.com/review-taco-bells-new-breakfast-menu/">Review: Taco Bell&#8217;s New Breakfast Menu</a> appeared first on <a href="https://www.factorytwofour.com">FactoryTwoFour</a>.</p>
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