How to Write a Limerick

Adam Kaslikowski — Fri, 17 Mar 2023 20:03:35 +0000

To celebrate world Limerick Day, dedicated to those oft-naughty little poems and their inventor Edward Lear, we’re going to teach you how to write a limerick as well as share some of our favorites from around the world. The limerick is like the haiku’s western cousin – a littler fatter, a little dirtier, but much more accessible to the masses. A limerick is any five-line poem that have a AABBA rhyming scheme – the first, second, and fifth lines rhyme with each other, as do the third and fourth. Traditionally, the first two lines introduce a setting, character, or activity, the third and forth tend to be shorter and intensify the punch line that resides in the fifth line. Those are the simple rules of the limerick, so now you can go out and craft your own (dirty or not).

To help inspire you, here’s a few of our favorite limericks from around the world:

There once was a girl Selina,
who wanted to be a ballerina.
She went on her toes,
and broke her nose.
Then she became cleaner.

There once was an artist named Saint,
Who swallowed some samples of paint.
All shades of the spectrum
Flowed out of his rectum
With a colourful lack of restraint.

A silly young man from Clyde
In a funeral procession was spied
When asked, “Who is dead?”
He giggled and said,
“I don’t know; I just came for the ride.

A wonderful bird is the pelican;
His beak can hold more than his belican.
He can hold in his beak
Enough food for a week,
Though I’m damned if I know how the helican!

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5 Better Uses for Razors than Shaving

Adam Kaslikowski — Thu, 05 Jan 2023 21:25:51 +0000

Alright dude bros. Time to get real for a second. Whether you are bearded up or baby-faced, you no doubt have a razor or two laying around your bathroom. If you’re a 7 blades kind of guy or single disposable, these little marvels of modern convenience are capable of a lot more than just cleaning up your mug and making sure your back doesn’t look like a fur coat. No, modern razors are a lot more versatile than you thought, and the uses for razors go far and wide. For instance, you can:

De-pill sweaters – It’s no good getting ready for a big night out and throwing on a sweater withthreadballs all over it. There shouldn’t be any kind of balls on your sweaters, period. If you don’t have a lint roller (and who does?), then skip over the whole use-a-piece-of-tape method and grab your razor. Simply drag the blade across your clothing and all that extra pilling will be whisked away. Start with the front breast, then the sleeves and back, and finally all the small areas like cuffs and/or collars. Congrats, you now look epic.

Grate cheese – Like that ultra-thin shred for all your fish taco needs? Have more patience than sense? Then break off any lubricating strips or skin protectors and get to shredding. Maybe you’re more a fan of infintesimal julliened carrots – same principle applies. In some professional kitchens, the size of your shred can determine your place in the pecking order. Get a leg up by using a razor to blow everyone away. Head to your local Giant Eagle or such retailer, buy a razor, and get grating!

Defend yourself – MacGuyver was a great tv show (not really, but stick with me…), what with all his invented gadgets and improvised tools. But Big Mac has got nothing on the imaginations of the men and women in our country’s penitentiaries. These crafty buggers can make pretty decent shivs out of a disposable razor, and that means you can to! That makes it a dual function tool perfect for your every day carry; shave your face, then ward off a mugger or Jehova’s Witness…

Create a tripod – Modern life is all about documenting every second and showing the world how Totally Awesome your life supposedly is. But it is no good if your sweet SnapChats are shaky or your 160 megapixel panoramas are tilted. But who wants to carry around a tripod? Well you don’t have to if you spare one pocket for 3 razors and a camera adapter. Set them up as stable legs and they will support your camera while you get that sweet pic that will get you 2000 likes for sure.

Enjoy a new movie – For realsies. Schick is currently running an offer to send you to your local cinema of choice! Just buy a razor (you need one anyway you hairy hippy!), then text a photo to Schick and you’ll get yourself 2 tickets for any new release! That there is what we used call a pretty good deal. Now I think the youth call it a “gordo” or some such nonsense…

This is a sponsored conversation written by me on behalf of Schick® Men’s Shave. The opinions and text are all mine.

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How to Write a Limerick

5 Better Uses for Razors than Shaving