Showing up to a date dressed poorly can be an instant deal breaker for many people, or at the very least it could leave a bad first impression. Don’t do that — be better. Being well dressed doesn’t mean getting suited up at any opportunity, it means dressing appropriately for the occasion, wearing clothes that fit, and understanding what colors work together. Simple in theory, yet it can be complicated in practice. We’ve had our fair share of missed opportunities and fashion faux-pas, enough for us to learn from our mistakes. We want to pass down that knowledge in hopes of helping you impress your date with your style choices. In order to do so, we present part one of the three part series.

Dressing for the occasion is arguably the most important factor in dressing well. It’s so easy to spot the guy who doesn’t have a clue about how to dress appropriately, yet it’s so easy to avoid. We’ve all seen the guy who shows up to a graduation ceremony wearing beat up sneakers and ripped jeans, or proudly wears a dress shirt and tie to a casual meal at Chipotle. Don’t be that guy. When you’re getting dressed, consider the setting of the place you’re going to. These suggestions are by no means set in stone, but you can use these categories as a general guideline to help figure out what to wear.

Casual

Casual refers to occasions such as a coffee date, casual dinner, walk in the park, etc. You want to be comfortable and laid back so you can focus on enjoying the date and making a good impression. Think sneakers, jeans or chinos, tee shirts, henleys or casual button downs, and maybe a light jacket if the weather calls for it. If you need a hand picking out a jacket, check out the style guide from earlier this month. You could consider leather derbies or oxfords if your wardrobe permits, but just keep the environment of the date in mind so that you’re not uncomfortable or uptight.

Upscale Casual

You’re going to want to step it up a little if you’re going to a fancier bar or upscale restaurant, which is where upscale casual comes into play. Oxfords or slim boots paired with chinos or even dress pants can be a great choice here, meaning it’s usually a good call to leave the t-shirt at home. Instead, opt for a casual button down or dress shirt, along with a round neck sweater on top if it’s going to be chilly. A really nice pair of jeans can work too, as they’re not ripped or dirty. Dressing for an upscale casual date can be tough since it sits in a weird grey area casual and formal. However, if you are able to do some research to scope out the venue, you may be able to get a better understanding of what to expect.

Semi Formal/Formal

If you manage to land a date at a formal event or really high-end restaurant, you’re probably far past the first date. If not, give yourself a round of applause and . In terms of footwear, you’re definitely going to want a pair of oxfords or brogues, so if you don’t have a pair you better leave time to stop by Nordstrom on the way. If for some reason you’re still considering wearing jeans, you might as well go ahead and cancel. At the very least, you’re going to want a pair of dress pants and a dress shirt, along with a tie. Suits look great here, but try to save your black suit for weddings or funerals, and opt for a lighter option like navy.

While there are certainly a ton of other factors that influence the outcome of an outfit, it’s important to assess the environment first so that you can dress accordingly. Feeling out of place on a date sucks, and preparing or at least thinking about what to wear in advance can do wonders for your confidence and first impression. Next week, we dive into the fit and styling of common garments to take you a little deeper into developing your own sense of style.

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At the same time, your family may be completely enamored with your partner, and their positive feelings toward her can be powerful enough to influence your behavior going forward. In particular, their reaction can further strengthen your affection for her and perhaps even help you to see her as someone who’s truly marriage material.

On the other hand (so to speak), when your family’s not mirroring back the admiration that you feel towards your partner, you can end up second-guessing yourself. And rather than popping the question, you may feel that you should put a stop to your relationship instead.

In a word, when it comes to your family’s opinion about your girlfriend, their thoughts and beliefs about her do matter — to an extent. After all, you’re the one in the relationship with her and not your family. However, if there’s a disconnect between how you feel about your partner versus their sentiments, it’s important to have a real conversation with them about why this is the case.

Specifically, you need to ask them exactly what’s causing their discontentment and/or disapproval of her. Do they find her controlling, possessive, or just plain rude? Or is it that she seems cold and closed-off when you’re all together? Once you openly and honestly discuss what’s at the root of their displeasure with her, you and your family can make an informed decision together about how to proceed from that point. For instance, perhaps you’ll try to be more cognizant of the behaviors that your family finds unsettling, while at the same time, your family will make a concerted effort on their part to break down the wall and initiate conversations with your girlfriend to try to get to know her better.

But in the end, it’s important to remember that the decision to be with your partner has to come from you and you alone. And while you should definitely take into account your family’s opinion of your partner, both the good and the bad, it’s you who gets to ultimately decide whether it’s worth being with this person. Besides, there’s always the possibility that your family adores your partner, but it’s you who’s not convinced that she’s the one for you. It’s for this very reason that although you should respect and take into account your family’s point of view, it’s your opinion of your significant other that’s the most significant of all.

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Improv comedy has a few golden tenants, and one of them is the theory of “Yes, and…” Basically, you are never supposed to say “no,” shut down, or otherwise redirect your partner from whatever scene or scenario they are constructing. Instead, you are to embrace it and build upon that world – “Yes, and…” Think about your past awkward conversations with strangers and all those times the momentum suddenly just stopped and neither of you knew what to say next. “Yes, and…” is designed exactly to fix this for comics, and it shouldn’t have any problem rescuing your Friday night. Start the conversation (“What are you doing this weekend?”), and whatever the response make sure not to derail it to something you want to talk about, or just say “sounds like fun,” or god forbid disagree. Simply accept the flow of the conversation, then build on it with your own story or even better more questions for them.

The next tool from the Improv toolkit is to be specific. To quote – “Details are the lifeblood of moving a scene forward. Each detail provides clues to what is important. Details help provide beat objectives and flesh out characters.” It is not nearly enough to tell your flirting partner that you are grabbing brunch with friends on Sunday. Tell where you are going, why you chose that location (are you excited about it?), and why those friends. All this detail is meant to give your target at least one item to latch onto and further the conversation.

These rule goes triple for when the flirting is going well and you have progressed your way to exchanges of innuendo. “Yes, and” your way in gradual steps to overt and blatant flirting and/or invitations…whether that be for dinner or for breakfast (if you catch my drift). Being specific with your flirting lets your partner know that these aren’t recycled lines and that you are paying attention to no one but them.

Comedians might not be our society’s paragon for dating prowess, but that doesn’t mean we can’t dip into their toolbox and pick any number of tactics and tips that they rely on to practice their craft. After all, few things get the heart racing faster than flirting, but being on stage is certainly one of them.

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Some have gone so far as to declare Tinder dead. It’s not. But it will never be the same as it was at it’s peak 6 months ago. From hookup app, to game, to cultural phenomenon, to burn out. It has been a wild ride. Now we are all pretty sick of the game. Pretty sick of the crazy conversations. Pretty sick of the “strategies” and opening lines. But it gets worse that just our collective ennui about the app.

Big changes are coming with the next update that is being released soon. Gone will be endless swiping – thus also say sayonara to gaming the system by swiping everyone right and then picking through. By restricting the number of swipes you are allowed per day, the Tinder folks are substantively changing the experience of the app and who it is targeting. They are also adding some new features, but none are as big a seismic shift as the limited swiping. The good days are over. Tinder is a pure dating app again, and this means a mass exodus is around the corner.

I’ve certainly done my time on the app. Haven’t we all. I was never one for the endless right swipe; I actually did pick through and swipe women I was even moderately interested in. Over several months on the app, I only ever went on one first date. There was no second date. Tinder has always been seen as a hookup app, and every conversation I had was pregnant with that spectre hanging over the discourse. Was the other person just looking for some afternoon delight? Is this person going to go loony toons on me and chop me up into chihuahua food? So like most of its users, Tinder has always been a game to me. But now the rules are changing and the only people who will stick around are the 30% heavy users. Tinder isn’t dead, but it’s all downhill from here.

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Learn Your Alphabet

Mastering the 4Cs of diamond jewelry is like bench pressing the bar. This is base level, bare minimum stuff. Required knowledge to play the game. If you want to buy a diamond, you’ve got to know what Carat, Clarity, Color, and Cut each mean, and why you should care. Once you’re feeling good on this, you can move up.

Lab Grades Are Helpful – To a Point

Having an independent expert watching your back can be a big help. In this case, checking out what an independent lab has to say about a particular gem’s 4Cs and more. The piece of paper outlining the labs view of the diamond in question is like a helpful buddy leading you through the process. But you know who knows what you like better than anyone? You. Diamond and other gem beauty is subjective. Find something that speaks to you, and stick with it. This is for you and your SO, no one else.

Shop at the Right Place

I know the smooth-talking guy in tight vest at the strip mall jewelry store is promising you the deal of a lifetime but trust me, you don’t want to go there. Mr. too-much-cologne has no oversight, questionable experience, and no reason to form a lasting relationship with you. He’s in it for the quick buck. You want to shop at well-known brands and stores that have been around for years, and will to be around for decades more. This purchase will likely just the be first in series of interactions with your jeweler, you want someone you can trust. But that doesn’t mean you can’t practice your shopping skills on those no-namers.

A big way to test these sales people is to ask the questions. If your sales person is pushing a diamond on you instead of educating you on the differences in the stones you are picking out, it is probably time to find a new store. Commission focused sales reps have such a high quota to meet that they want to spend as little time working with you as possible before making that sale for their best return. Find a store that does not have this sales model and pay it a visit instead.

Practice

You don’t want to buy a diamond at the first store you walk into, for the same reason you wouldn’t buy a car at the first lot you visited. You need to see whats around town, you need to get into the rhythm of the buying process and practice your selection skills. Make sure to hit up several stores and find one that suits your budget, personality, and desires. Once you’ve found a store that treats you the way you want to be treated, and that has the diamond you’re looking for, the buying process becomes a whole lot easier.

For pro-level tips on diamond buying, you can check out these great reddit and Vice pieces. You don’t have to be an expert to buy a diamond, but a little education never hurt anyone. Come correct into the buying experience, and you’ll leave with a remarkable stone that maximizes your budget and will delight your sweetie’s heart.

This is a sponsored conversation written by me on behalf of Shane Co. The opinions and text are all mine.

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