“Maybe the flood of apps has changed the very way we perceive the relation between life and technology. Are apps still designed to facilitate everyday tasks and help us experience life to the fullest? Or have they started adulterating and even completely replacing it altogether?”

In “The Dating Game” episode, Peter introduces Quagmire to Tinder, and it goes exactly how anyone who is the least bit familiar with Glenn’s sexual tendencies would think – he goes on a sexual rampage, deviant even for his own standards. And even though Quagmire using Tinder is like giving a diabetic kid his very own ice-cream truck, the exaggerated hypothetical scenario reveals a lot about the way lots of people use the dating app, or maybe even technology in general.

You know a dating app is overly simplified when even Quagmire’s approach to it seems overly sophisticated. Peter quickly walks him through the rules of this dating game, which as it turns out are exactly three.  Filling out interests, hobbies, presenting yourself in the most flattering, even unrealistic light – Tinder takes care of all that hassle. A bathtub picture, “casting a wide net” by swiping yes without even looking, mastering the emoji language of seduction. Quagmire is on his way.

For something designed to facilitate human interaction, ironically Tinder basically gets rid of it, at least here. No breaking-the-ice talk, flirty talk, dinner talk, in fact any kind of talk. Apparently, “an eggplant and an erupting volcano” seals the deal. Imagine if even Quagmire finds the world of Tinder “crude” in the beginning. But as you can imagine, he quickly succumbs to this universe where the undemanding sexual experience is king. At one scene, he and his date are even using the app during their “love-making.”

Soon after Quagmire completely loses touch with real-life dating, and reality altogether. In the space of one short Family Guy song, Tinder turns Quagmire into Gollum and becomes “his precious.”  We see him living like a “sex ghoul” in the darkness of his lair, waiting for “Heather within five miles.”

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qwm0GbzKZxs

Luckily, in the end Quagmire manages to find his way back to “scumming it up in the real world.” However, a couple of questions still leave hanging in the air for the viewers to answer for themselves.

Can Quagmire’s behavior be considered sexual deviance, or just the new social norm, even though obviously exaggerated for artistic reasons? If current times were the product of an advertising campaign, the slogan could be “the easier and faster — the better.” Is it any surprise then that sex, human interaction and real effort also fall down in this category?

Maybe the flood of apps has changed the very way we perceive the relation between life and technology. Are apps still designed to facilitate everyday tasks and help us experience life to the fullest? Or have they started adulterating and even completely replacing it altogether?

Perhaps the message of “The Dating Game” doesn’t refer only to Tinder. Then again, Seth MacFarlane isn’t known for being particularly subtle, so who’s to say? The one thing certain is how he feels about Tinder:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p5hFSdSOdhc

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HabitHub.

Android & iOS

I like to use HabitHub to track all of my goals in one place. Although I have separate apps to help me eat better, learn more, and look like Arnold Schwarzenegger, HabitHub is great to keep all of my aspirations organized in one place. Create separate goals and reminders, grow your chain day by day, and make your goals into habits without breaking a sweat.

MyFitnessPal.

Android & iOS

Probably the best overall fitness app on the market today. Set your weight loss (or gain) goals, where you are now, and how much activity you do each day. Track your calorie intake using a handy barcode scanner or by using the search bar in the diary section of the app. Over time, the app will show you analytics of your progress and make suggestions for improvement.

Fooducate.

Android & iOS

I think most people are becoming more health conscious in terms of what they put into their bodies. Every day we hear how “Organic” or “Farm-to-Table” may contain the exact ingredients we were looking to avoid. With Fooducate, you can learn about what exactly makes your food healthy or unhealthy as well as get an overall “healthiness” grade for individual foods and brands. Track your progress and get a personalized grade based on your eating habits.

Acorns.

Android & iOS

Saving money is one thing, growing your overall wealth with that saved money is an entirely different story. With Acorns, you can stash away a small amount of money and have it automatically invested in ETFs or Exchange Traded Funds. Invest the spare change from every purchase or create a recurring investment each day, week, or month. Every dollar becomes immediately invested in your diversified portfolio through Fractional Shared Ownership of the ETFs. Now saving takes on a whole new meaning.

Udemy.

Android & iOS

I’ve taken a multitude of college courses, but I think the most consistently useful knowledge I’ve learned thus far has come from Udemy. The courses they offer are relevant, informative, and downright cheap. I’ve taken courses on everything from marketing to coding to adobe illustrator and all of them have been great. Take the video lessons at your own speed and stop or pick up whenever you want. Accelerate your new year’s resolutions with this awesome app.

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Hopper

The modern gentleman must be well traveled, and Hopper can get you there. This app not only shows you the best days to fly, it will watch prices like a hawk, predict when they will rise or fall, and direct you elsewhere if someone else has a better price. It’s like having your best friend as your travel agent, without any of the guilt of wanting to travel solo. With its recent $16 million in funding, Hopper is here to stay.

iTunes App Store    Google Play Store

SmartNews

You probably already have your news app of choice, but hear me out. SmartNews raised $38 million in its latest Series D round of funding, and not without reason. This news aggregation app offers similar features as other apps, but with an authentic twist. If your work internet is like mine and it doesn’t hold up like Ryan Lochte’s robbery recollection, this app has a feature called “Smartview” where you use a minimal amount of bandwidth to view the text-only version of any article. A great UI combined with no-hassle viewing has won my readership.

iTunes App Store    Google Play Store

Canopy

The modern gentleman is already using Amazon for (almost) all of his internet buying needs, however, sifting through all of the junk can take time that the modern man just doesn’t have. Canopy is a no frills curator for Amazon. Have a spare minute and feel like doing some home/life improvement? Everything on Canopy is hand-picked, reliable, and well designed, while the app itself is clean and simple compared to competitors who try and throw as much junk in your face as possible. For the modern Amazonian, this is a must have.

iTunes App Store    Google Play Store

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