Our politically correct society has been imposing the idea of a genderless mannequin as the universal representative of both genders. The truth of the matter is, however, that our genitals – the one still undeniable gender difference, do come with different levels of sex drive after all, as renowned psychologist Roy Baumeister has confirmed. Sex is men’s life goal much more than it is a for women as a whole.
However, some people have taken this idea to extreme heights, stating that men’s sex drive is the one and only master pulling strings, governing men’s every move.
Comedians Dave Chappelle and Chris D’elia appear to be some of that theory’s forthright supporters:
“If a man can fuck a woman in a cardboard box, he wouldn’t buy a house.” – Dave Chappelle
“No matter what we do as men, the real reason we’re doing it is to get in your pussy.” – Chris D’elia
Of course, comedians tend to exaggerate to get laughs, but you know what they say – “It’s funny cause it’s true.”
In a paper by Baumeister and Kathleen Vohs, called Sexual Economics, Culture, Men and Modern Sexual Trends, the psychologists state that:
In her article Love in the Time of Individualism, Julie Beck’s examination of the book Cheap Sex by Mark Regnerus, a sociologist at the University of Texas at Austin, leads her to a similar idea:
“Regnerus also argues that the easy availability of sex makes men less motivated in their professional lives, because they don’t need to become successful, i.e., marriageable, to woo women to their beds.”
Thank God Tinder wasn’t invented earlier or The Theory of General relativity might have remained in Einstein’s head while his lower one was having all the fun.
This belief that sex is men’s life goal, reigning above all others, spans beyond the idea of money as well. A man’s social status today, especially in terms how it translates to his sexual marketability, is a much more flexible and complex matter than it used to be in “Mad Men” era.
As the Reddit user puaSenator (which probably stands for pick up artist – a term used to describe dedicated womanizers, Senator) states:
“Sex is a barometer of personal success. … A poor artist making waves is not necessarily going to be financially successful, but will be successful within their own area, and the pussy will naturally follow.”
My college roommate, perhaps the most driven and focused womanizer I have ever met, has very similar ideas:
“Being an alpha that chases goals outside of women is what women find attractive. Having strong interest and passions in life that, supposedly, have nothing to do with getting laid is what gets you laid.” my ex-roommate says.
PUA-inspired philosophy seems to preach that sex and personal success are two mutually-reinforcing cornerstones in a man’s world:
“Mastering the art of picking-up girls gives you a certain level of confidence that you can apply to any aspect of your life, “ my roommate continues.
And even though the PUA current and the likes flow towards an idyll few men would frown upon, it might not play such a central role in all men’s dream scenario.
A study on casual sex and its appeals, published in Social Psychological and Personality Science, called Wo Benefits From Casual Sex? The Moderating Role of Sociosexuality has discovered that the people who derive more pleasure and general life satisfaction from casual sex are: “extroverted”, “sensation-seeking”, “impulsive”, “avoidantly attached” males who “also invest less in romantic relationships and are more likely to have cheated on a romantic partner.” Other traits that describe those men, according to Vrangalova, the sex researcher that led the study, are: “sexist, manipulative, coercive and narcissistic”, especially among college men.
Even though those qualities don’t exclude other merits, it’s hard to imagine they are the best way to describe Einstein, Mandela, Lincoln and other men that made a difference to society.
So if late at night, you find yourself banging your head against the wall, trying to figure out new ways to bed more women, maybe don’t rub your social superiority in the face of men that find meaning in other aspects of their lives as well. Sex is men’s life goal, but how central – everyone decides for themselves.
Do you kiss and tell after your hook-ups? Maybe there is a better strategy for your sharing about your love life.